1/23/17

Tom Swiftiers™

Rainier is Washington state's tallest mountain. But if you pronounce it rain-i-er, with three syllables, it's an adjective.

That's the idea behind Tom Swiftiers, a rather limited type of wordplay I've just invented. Each example takes a noun ending in "ier" and reimagines it as a comparative adjective. However, unlike "rainier," which is a real word, true Tom Swiftiers coin new adjectives.

Since there are relatively few possibilities, here are most of them:

"Don't marry that bum.
Hold out for someone cashier."

"Neither of the inns in that town look appealing.
Let's try somewhere hotelier."

"Your baby only coughs once in a while.
That's nothing!
In my day, infants were much croupier."

"Spear me a couple more, bartender.
I prefer an olivier martini."

"After the army officer's troops were
increased from 3,000 to 6,000,
he was a brigadier general."

"The more thick cloth bath towels, the terrier."

"In winter, radiators make the air humidifier."

And a rare double Tom Swiftier:

"You'd better make the top of that dress clothier.
It's for a frontier woman."


Coming soon:
Tom Swiftiests™




Tom Swiftier and Tom Swiftiest are trademarks of Patrick Merrell (like anyone else would want them)