In the Book, Part 1

Years ago, when I lived in Manhattan, I used to thumb through the phone book looking for interesting names. It was mostly a parade of Fred Johnsons and Joan Schmidts, but the finds came just often enough to keep me searching. Here are the names I collected, just as they appeared in the 1985 Manhattan White Pages:

Justin Case • Hans Clapper • Fannie Sweat • Rocke Hammer • Lake Walker • Seymour Glass • Cliff Hanger • Harry Foote • Fannie Holder • Ernest Grab • Joy Handler • Sandy Hill • Kitty Graves • Guey Chow • Rik Shaw • Myrtle Farmer • Barry Picker • Minnie Chew • Penny Rich • Bill Foldes • Rex Piano • Harry Carp • Suck Chin • Daisy May • Holly Wood • Frank N. Stein • Ross Superman • Arthur Antman • Olive Green • Green Ivory • Ivory Gray • Cherrie Brown • Rose Silver • Ruby Black • Pearl White • I. Popper • L. Greco • D. Jay • T. Bagg • B. Head • J. Walker • P. Picker • C. Shell • D. Sharp • B. Little • I.M. Gross • B. Kind • I. Kiss • Ann Tell • Pringle Southward • Cleveland Spain • Hannelore Lust • Clover Lightbody • Tiffany Lawyer • Lily Magazine • Mortimer Fuss • Max Warmflash • Roosevelt Chance • Girlee Carter • Curlee Story • Bubba Rambo • Kathleen Flatland • Michelle Saltmarsh • Birdie Salmon • Iris Flowers • June Christmas • May Easter • August September • Pharaoh Sargent • Earl Beer • Sky King • Pearl Lord • Ginger Prince • Ma Gallup • Herbert Hell • Finbar Harvey • Norman German • Gustave Hamburger • Barney Karpfinger • Winston Sweetie • W.O. Begone • Abel Just • Goon Foon • Zack Sack • Lee Lee • Lester Lester • George George • John Doe

• Tune in next week for more phone book names—ones that tell a story. If that sounds confusing, all will be made clear then. •

From issue No. 6 of the Gadzooks Gazette • Big Edition • 1986